So i was having a convo with Clev a few weeks back and we realized that the folks who named MAJOR articles of clothing were crazed–abso ridic!
With that said i give to you the proper title for these ill-named articles. They are heavily used here at AbsoHilare so i advise you read this closely, unless you want to be confused of course. You never know, some people get a kick outta that stuff. No? no.
Now that winter is here yagatta wear the appropriate attire to stay WARM. What does one buy to stay WARM these days? a SWEAT-er? No no no my brotha–a WARMER. I dont know about the rest of you folks but upon my purchase of said item my goal is NOT to be SWEATING ALL THE DAMN TIME, i just want to be warm, so thats why it should’ve been and will be called from here on out– a “warmer”. (Couldnt understand for the life of me HOW THE HELL they made this blunder but I’m happy its solved, whew!). Ex. “I am going to wear black V-neck Warmer to work tomorrow because its dress-down friday”. (and not a damn HOODY!)
Next up we have the infamous clothing item widely referred to as “Pants”. Now, just so you know im not crazed, and for information purposes ONLY, this is what i found when i looked up pant in the dictionary:
1. to breathe hard and quickly, as after exertion.
2. to gasp, as for air.
3. to long with breathless or intense eagerness; yearn: to pant for revenge. and so on and so forth.
NONE OF THOSE HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE GARMENT THAT COVERS ME FROM WAIST TO ANKLE, i know for damn sure my “pants” cant pull off any of those–so where they hell are these people getting there info?? Withthat said, since they are mainly to cover ur legs, they will be referred to as “Leggers” from here on out.Ex. “Im wearing grey dress leggers in the office today.” ( i dont even know how i feel about “trousers” being applicable, just looks wierd)Â
Now, lastly, and probably the MOST ABSO. RIDIC. would be one of my favorite items. The “SNEAKer”. (PMO!=Pissing/Pissed Me Off)
Now when i hit up my local “SNEAKer” spot i dont go in there with the intention to purchase the best fit to go snooping around the streets of NY in stealth mode. I buy them to walk/run comfortably in. So with that said, from here on out they shall be referred to as “walkers/runners” accordingly.Ex “If you pick up a nice pair of Stan Smith walkers congrats/ if you purchase a nifty(one my fav words BTW) pair of Air Max Runners then good work”
This report is being submitted for informational purposes only, govern your future clothing verbiage accordingly. I hope you all agree, if not–toughbreak foo’.
P.s : You MUST admit that these things are ABSO RIDIC!! How did they not see this ? Fools.
-A. Musin
9 Comments
hello amusing.
just thought i’d leave a comment about this.
sweater: this noun came to be in the 1800s and was typically used in rowing by the teams during practices to induce sweating and promote weight loss. that’s pretty much why those garments are called sweaters.
sneaker: [english meaning] rubber soled shoe…they came to be known as sneakers, because they made no noise when one walked.
pants: i’ll get back to you on this one.
[ i'm a word nerd and stuff. ]
pants is the short form of pantaloons.
Pissed!
Pantaloons!?!? I understand that’s its orign but it still sounds ridic to me. I just think they could’ve put a lot more thought into it. That’s why when I make up my own word one day (and ensure that its widely accepted) there will be no room for error. That is all.
Not that I don’t think that your blog is brill, because I do, but being the person that I am, I couldn’t help but make a comment.
I think sweater is an appropriate name for your “warmers.” Tell me that you’ve never left the freezing cold, walked into a heated building, and started to sweat because the damn contraption on your body was inducing perspiration. You can’t, because it’s happened to everyone at least once.
Ah ha, then my friend, you ARE wearing a sweater. And you’re right it happens to everyone. However that’s not the reason you pick up the item. NOBODY says, “I’m going to buy this to sweat.” Tell me you do. Go ahead, just tell me.
I go to the store with the intent of purchasing a thick material to adorn my person with hopes of instant perspiration.
That last statement was a complete lie.
I buy the item to stay WARM, but never would i meaningfully buy something that would have me walking into work on a nice day looking like i was ravished by a tsunami.
This website posting gave me an entire load of thoughts, many thanks for posting