It’s CHRISTMAS time again!
With this being my first year with the company I figured it would be a good look for me to sign up for this “Secret Santa” shindig they were organizing. They set a $30 maximum so I figured why the hell not.
I just happened to luck out and pick my bosses name out the hat! No sweat- I know what she likes and what she listens to so I got her a huge black & white poster of the NYC skyline to match her other posters & the new Lupe Fiasco CD as she loves his music.
So it’s safe to say I put thought into my extremely HOT gift for my boss. No? I think so. The person who picked my name out the hat obviously didnt get the “Hot Gift ONLY” memo.
So my secret santa drops off this lil’ shiny bag and says “HERE YOU GO! HAPPY HOLIDAYS!” So the set-up was great. I (excitedly) sift through the excessive gift stuffing paper to run into a tie. Now don’t get me wrong folks, I am a very appreciative person and the tie was decent BUT when I went I stumbled upon the rest of the contents in this very gift bag I was at a loss for words. (Sidebar- I am never at a loss for words)
So in addition to the tie she gave me a bar of chocolate and (get this)…a 24 box of fuckin’ CRAYOLA crayons accompanied by one of those faux old-school 100 dollar bill wrapped pencils. YO I WAS SOOOOO PISSED!! I wanted un-plug my keyboard, walk it over to her desk, and backhand her with it. Then throw (one by one) each and every crayon in that box at her.
Secret Santa: Good for some but for me, not so much.
12 Comments
CRAYONS?!?!?!?! Didn’t see that coming. Did you ask her WHY in the HELL she gave you crayons? What are you doing at “work” that crayons would seem like an acceptable gift? I blame you.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT…
I didnt even have to! This asshole prefaced the gift-giving with:
“Growing up Christmas was always about toys and candy, so i got you these crayons”.
BITCH IM GROWN!!!! I do NOT need crayons(24). If i do im sure i can get them on my own and WOULD NOT think to receive them for a Christmas Gift.
Talking about this is pissin’ me off again.
(Peeks over desk to see if she is still there while reaching for keyboard…)
OH What a pisser your boss is! Your resolution for the new year should be to only turn in your work with flesh colored crayons…or maybe you should try leaving her a message in sky blue.
I know it’s holiday time, but your boss deserves to be water boarded like a terrorist sleeper cell in the Bronx.
This is a great story man! What did you end up doing with the crayons?
They are somewhere at my house.
I actually plan buying a gift box, putting them in it, wrapping the box, buying a bow for it and giving them RIGHT back to her next year. See how she likes that…
Are you a re-gifter?
No,
I am not. Never was, nor did i think i would be. But for this one instance i shall re-gift ONLY so that she can endure the same pain that i had to.
The funny thing is, i think she might even like it. Imagine if i was to re-gift it and she LOVED it?
Of COURSE she’ll love it. No doubt in my mind. Nope, not one.
LOL!!!
Failure! She should be stoned!!! Who gives an adult crayons?! Freaking hilarious!
A. Musin, I still have a headache by the way!
Ha!
Stoned?! Hilarium; because I usually tell people they too should be stoned. Line theft? Is that what you are guilty of?
But on a more serious note, I am now turned off by the idea of Secret Santa, Woe! Who knows what could happen next year? Imagine if she comes with a coloring book and says, ” i figured they would go well with your crayons from last year.” The thought alone angers me.
Just to clear the record, if I had picked Musin’s name out of the hat I would have also gotten him an extremely HOT present that he would enjoy forever. If you get a crappy present from someone next year, just Holla – I’ll try to get them fired.
- The Boss
p.s. The poster and CD WERE great!
Merch!
Thanks for the reassuring words. I doubt that I could receive such a horrible gift ever again, then again, with my luck the past few days anything is possible. I gotta post that…it’s really just a whole bunch of losing, back to back. It shall be a good read though, indeed.