What is the world coming to?
On this day i speak of i saw a very “needy-looking” man (not gunna go start calling the man a bum because i dont know his personal business nor was i 100 percent sure of his bum credentials so for now i will stick with “needy-looking” man to play it safe) loitering by the F train at Roosevelt Avenue.
So on this frigid day i see this man confidently walking along the platform damn near barefoot. I say that because his black/white Air Forces were a lot more Air than they were Forceful. When you wear walkers i’m not supposed to be able to see your toe(s).
So aside from his Air Airs, he was sporting a pair of sweatpants that could EASILY pass for sweat-capris. No joke. If the foot of his pants were alive they would be stretching, kicking and screaming in attempts to cover his ankles. But here’s the kicker, this man was brave enough (with all these holes and gaps in his outfit) to wear a friggin FUR coat. I laughed in his face, i could NOT help it. Where did he find that coat and more importantly WHO was he trying to fool with that damn faux-chilla coat?
Not I.
P.s. At best it could pass for a rat skin coat.
Maybe the coat was overcompensating for the holes in his outfit? Orrr…maybe he was just trying to be gangsta. You know, Frank Lucas, wore a chinchilla coat…
P.S. “Air Airs” made me almost snort my Dr. Pepper out of my nose. THANKS.
Idk,
Franky boy wore his (real) chinchilla coat against his will. This man was almost being boastful in his rat skin coat. It was clearly a slap in the face to any and everyone who was waiting for the train. Rude.
I am also becoming more and more concerned for ur inability to retain your fluids, lol. I feel like anytime your drinking something you are a dangerous weapon. Water by itself, harmless. Whitney drinking water, dangerous projectile.
hope you have a lawyer..since i nearly DIED laughin at “air airs”
Did you ever think that maybe they were sweat capris? I promise I’m not making that up.
If i told you that i actually typed sweat capris and then nixed it would you believe me? Would you?
Nope, not a chance.
Well,
I did.
You should start believing me.
Okay so this was BY FAR THE funniest shizz I read in a long time. My day was on the brink of horrid and this DEF made up for it! Wow….Only in New York kids. Only in New York!
Oh and I have SEEN sweat capris…so yeah
What’s sad? I’m wearing sweat capris right now… Should I be ashamed?? You know what? I’m not ashamed. I’m COMFORTABLE.
I’ve never owned a pair, but I can see comfort. With a faux-chilla though, no way.
No way.
Ohhhhhhhhhhh Nooooooooooo!
You sure are comfortable Whitney, comfortably placed in one of the worst clothing inventions since cargo-sweatpants.
I don’t think there was anything i disliked more than those damn cargo-sweats, i dont even know why but when i saw people wearing them it would just piss me off, they were hideous. Does anyone else remember those? Whit, do you own a pair of these also…?
Luckily for you Whit, you’re in good with the folks over here so i will let it slide this time, but next time you come with some madness like this i will be sure to give you the business.
Shew! That was a close one… I almost got exiled and I’ve only been around for less than a week. You guys run a tight ship.
(What exactly is a tight ship? Has there ever been a loose ship? These are the questions that keep me awake at night…)
Yea,
No worries, luckily you’re in good over here at absohilare (i’ve never told you this before, this is the first time you are hearing it).
It was a close call though, made it by the skin of your teeth. Speaking of that, what skin is there on your teeth/ my teeth for that matter? Gums? Is that what they count as skin? Is that what they are talking about? Help please.
That tight ship thing is pure madness. I guess (and this is the best i can come up with) it means if you were to be aboard a ship that was PACKED to capacity and it was a tight fit you could easily be end up overboard? I REALLY am going out on a (weak/shaky) limb here but i think it almost works. (It put my mind at ease at least).
You’re limb is a little more than shaky. Not that I know what it means, because I don’t. I even wasted about 30 minutes thinking about it.
However, I KNOW it wasn’t that LIE you came here to tell us. You don’t lie, do you? That was pure hog wash. Anyone care to take a stab at that one. Or that one?
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[...] dragging to get to the train. I find myself at the infamous Roosevelt Avenue stop (Home of “Air Force + Faux-Chilla = Loss” & “Wiser with Age”) wondering why the hell the magnitude of the everyday commuter [...]