Subway Chronicles Pt. 5: “You’re Supposed to have TWO!”

Here i am minding my own business on a Queens bound F train when at the Parsons stop confidently enters a man of Indian descent who apparently hasn’t been shopping since circa 2002.

This psycho (he had to be insane, not asking any questions) was wearing a tan FLIGHT JACKET (couldn’t tell the last time I’ve seen one of those) , a pair of jeans that looked like one big fuck up of denim patches, and then what HAD to be some clearance Nike womens walkers.

The funny part is, that’s not even what landed this man a feature spot in the Subway Chronicle Series ! In fact, it was the dark M he was wearing above his nose. Not only did this man have ONE SOLID super-unibrow, but he took the time to shape the shit up!! The solo-brow was half way down his nose bridge and could easily have extended to his ear lobe. This was a SERIOUS bush-like patch folks. I’m positive that this woolly-brow HAD to impair his vision. Of this i am certain.

I’m going to have to start trying some paparazzi moves and sneaking pics of these people so you can go through what i have to go through. Painful sight.

Also, if you realized i tagged this post under three categories. Couldn’t Make This Up, Subway Chronicles, and especially Garb as i feel that his feathery facial feature highly qualifies as an article of clothing.

21 Comments

  • 1
    simone clarke-cooper
    January 18, 2008 - 10:59 am | Permalink

    Well, story is funny and all, but what about if this poor gentleman has no money, and has to wear the same clothes over and over because he has no money to “update his wardrobe?”

  • 2
    A. Musin
    January 18, 2008 - 11:12 am | Permalink

    Oh,

    The outfit wasn’t to be the key focus. It was the mega-brow.

    I BET you if he cut back on the money he spent trying to keep his woolly-brow kept he would have some cash to “update his wardrobe”.

  • 3
    Ada
    January 18, 2008 - 12:09 pm | Permalink

    You shouldn’t take their pics. You might be sued for defamation of character. Setting that aside, maybe he’s an artist who was inspired by Frida. If you want to talk about some serious unibrows, then you should check her out…

  • 4
    Banna
    January 18, 2008 - 12:22 pm | Permalink

    solid M..ha!

    well it IS always an adventure on the F train…

  • 5
    A. Musin
    January 18, 2008 - 12:48 pm | Permalink

    A SOLID M!

    (picture it folks, a SOLID BUSHY M over someones eyes…)

    As per the image, I’m almost certain i wont see super-brow again. But I’m telling you, some of the things I see are 20 times as funny when you SEE what I’m talking about.

    In time you will see!

  • 6
    A. Musin
    January 18, 2008 - 1:01 pm | Permalink

    Also,

    Defamation of Character? Wrong law. At best he could try invasion of privacy but even then I wouldn’t be selling these images, I would only using them to make fun, not so bad. No foul here.

    Foul here?

    No foul here.

  • 7
    January 18, 2008 - 1:36 pm | Permalink

    Living in Kentucky I see some real gems almost every day. The Mullet is fairly popular in the more eastern counties, however I saw a superb French braid at PF Changs the other night. It’s so rare to see them out in the wild anymore. I wish I had snapped her picture.

    And as for the M? Maybe he gets some serious action while channeling Burt from Burt and Ernie.

  • 8
    A. Musin
    January 18, 2008 - 2:12 pm | Permalink

    LOL!

    Is that a good look Whit? WOULD YOU APPROACH A MAN WITH A SOLID M (I don’t think you guys understand how SERIOUSLY DEFINED this M was) OVER HIS EYES?? ANYONE?

    All Mullets should burn in a fire.

  • 9
    January 18, 2008 - 3:28 pm | Permalink

    I would be ALL OVER the M! At night our sweet talk would involve things like, “Oh honey, tickle my face with those luxurious locks! No, no… not the hair on your head. I’m talking about your eyebrows. Ahh, there you go. You really know how to treat a woman…”

  • 10
    A. Musin
    January 18, 2008 - 4:42 pm | Permalink

    “Ahh, there you go. You really know how to treat a woman…”

    LMAO

    I’m going to be at the unemployment office on Monday if you don’t cut it out Whit.

  • 11
    Chaunna
    January 20, 2008 - 2:06 am | Permalink

    lololol… I remember this story

    never call it an article of clothing! lmao

  • 12
    January 20, 2008 - 9:07 pm | Permalink

    Yes, yes we NEED visuals!!!

  • 13
    A. Musin
    January 21, 2008 - 12:05 pm | Permalink

    Visuals in due time, of this I am certain.

  • 14
    V. Clev
    January 21, 2008 - 12:08 pm | Permalink

    Whitney you kill me. Luxurious locks…lmao

  • 15
    A. Musin
    January 21, 2008 - 2:36 pm | Permalink

    Whitney,

    you killed Clev.

    What do you have to say for yourself?

    R.I.P V.Clev?

  • 16
    January 21, 2008 - 5:23 pm | Permalink

    Uh…I’m sorry?

  • 17
    A. Musin
    January 23, 2008 - 9:46 am | Permalink

    Not going to cut it Whit.

    You’ve got hell to pay!!

    Hm, I wonder how much that would cost?

    Who comes up with these phrases?

    Do I have questions that need to be answered?

  • 18
    January 26, 2008 - 12:41 am | Permalink

    If you can find me the exact price on hell then maybe I can dip into my savings…

  • 19
    A. Musin
    January 26, 2008 - 12:21 pm | Permalink

    It should come up to roughly your soul.99.

    Reasonable, no?

    Now, cough it up.

  • 20
    January 26, 2008 - 9:59 pm | Permalink

    Do you think Satan does layaway?

  • 21
    A. Musin
    January 28, 2008 - 9:15 am | Permalink

    If i were you, and didn’t like pitchforks, I would pay the man in full.

    That’s all I’m saying…that’s all.

    (crazy how this actually went on for a few posts eh?)

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