After Sunday nights comedic commentative catastrophe it was only right for me to tune in to see part two of the season opening episode of American Gladiators. I tuned in with hopes that the first nights corn-fest was just a shameless ploy to get our attention and have us come back to watch (what i thought would be) a night of better written content.
Have you ever been wrong about something before? Well i have, and the previous thought ranks high on the “boy was i wrong about that” list. Don’t worry, if you missed it, here is ALL that you need to know:
- They put THE most country boy on this show. “I do radiation control, i get to play with nuclear waste.” [ that's hot? ]
- The same man also said, ” I love my wife dearly, she is all i know. Ive never even held hands with another girl in my life.” [ WHAT?! ]
- Commentator says, ” Toa sent Adonis on a downtown train to waterville.” [ abso ridic ]
- They actually used, “welcome to the gun show” to introduce a Gladiator…and they were serious.
- Country boy said, ” he was a little bit slippery you know, but its just like HOG WRESTLING at the fair, i took care of him.”
- Commentator says, ” Wolf is ready to FANG tough.” [ OHH NOOO!! ]
- Hulk Hogan actually said ” You had more moves up there than a bowl of jello .” [ WHO IS TO BLAME FOR THIS? ]
I mean, there was a lot more said but i just CAN’T with these people, are they serious? Are they?
P.s. Congrats to my boy Adonis on a good showing last night.
If you missed it on Sunday…Here’s giving him the business. (Thanks for the link Chris)
12 Comments
I’m soooo mad I missed this. FANG TOUGH?!?!??!!? That’s the worst. Abso worst.
NO CHANCE!
Fang tough is no match for “You had more moves up there than a bowl of jello!”
I almost pissed myself when i heard that madness.
Incredibily cheezy. Have you seen the old ones recently, though? cheesy I was kind of embarrased I enjoyed ‘em so much as a kid.
And I hate to bring it down to this level, but Adonis had the most painfully obvious erection after two of his matches.
No wishful thinking there, either…
I can’t lie, I still enjoy the old ones. These new ones though are pure comedy. I hope those lines don’t belong to Hogan, but the alternative isn’t better.
Oh and Adonis and boner. LOSS for him. I’m on the search for the video. On second thought, no, I’m not.
I was randomly flipping through channels and landed on this gem lat night. When the announcer said that Toa sent someone on a “downtown train to waterville” I choked on my water and immediately sat up and turned the tv off. WHO SAYS THAT?! I award American Gladiators no points and may God have mercy on their souls.
However, I really wish I could have heard the announcer say “welcome to the gun show.” It may have been enough to keep me watching.
I’m really mad I missed this last night. But I’m CERTAIN there will be PLENTY more, yup PLENTY.
Whitney,
I feel your pain. I almost lost my beverage when Hogan said the “more moves than a bowl of jello” comment. However, instead of turning my television off i actually HAD to turn it up to not only make sure i was really hearing this foolishness but also to ensure i would’nt miss the other absurdities that were SURE to follow.
Not too long after i was shaken up by “you laid it down, you did’nt slow down, and you did’nt mess around!” WHO THE HELL SAYS THAT?!?!
P.s. They really did use “welcome to the gun show” to introduce Militia. I STILL can’t believe it.
Sometimes my friend and I will sit with the tv on mute and make up our own dialogue for the cheesiness that is the Sci-Fi Original Movie. I’m pretty sure that we can come up with some real winners for American Gladiators given the material I have to go on from this week’s show. In fact, I think I just found my new Monday night activity.
No doubt about that,
No one should miss an episode, it’s way too funny. If anyone misses an espisode of American Gladiators i will personally give them the business.
No infraction there.