Yes folks,
For the FIRST time in my life I threw on a pair of the good ole’ ice skates. Now, I have NO form of skating experience, none! Not even roller-skates, roller-blades, nothing! Haven’t even had a dream about skating. So this is literally my first attempt at this gliding craft, ever!
So as I sheepishly mosey over to the edge I decide to take some time before making the big step that could change my life forever. I then said a small prayer, asked random folks for a couple pointers, looked to my counter-parts (who ALL said they had ZERO skating experience) and made my first attempt at this ice-skating jazz.
To my Surprise, the pointers worked! I wasn’t necessarily skating just yet but I was making my way around the rink by doing what I like to call ‘ice-walking’. Wasn’t so much skating yet but I was taking baby steps around this frozen circle. I was and still am proud of myself.
So a friend of mine who LIED and said he had no experience was doing VERY well. Come to find out he used to Rollerblade. WOOL! This whole time he sent us out to DIE. It’s clearly a very easy transition to apply one concept to the other. I was pissed. So he is here flying, doing well, having the time of his life while I’m still doing my slow and steady wins the race move.
At this point I was content with pulling off the skates and chalking it up as a good experience. (I should listen to myself more often.) So i decide to take one more lap and try to kick it up a notch. At this point in time the Jamaican version of Brian Boitano decides to give Musin a (non-requested) push to boost my speed…OHHHH NOOOO!!!
It was BAD! I mean, arms flailing to keep balance, I also pulled the ‘going down in ball of flames circular downward spiral move’ (bad idea because now everyone is looking at me)…all of this of course done before my legs went from beneath me and then I saw the tip of my skates running parallel with the piping in the ceiling then KABOOM!
Ouch!
Honestly, I was PISSED! I didn’t fall ONCE! Didn’t help that I had been laughing at the rest of them all day for flapping on ice all day like a fish outta’ water. But as fate would have it I too suffered a cold fumble and it wasn’t pleasant, ruined my clean sheet and my elbow might still be hurting. I should have never flailed, would have saved me the widened embarrassment and the elbow landing.