So we have given you ridiculous instances in which people have used “Can’t Read”, so it’s only right for us to bring you a solid match for “Can’t Hear.”
Rogers Clemens,
7 time Cy Young Award Winner, 2 World Series Championships, a member of the Major League Baseball All-Century Team, well over 300 wins & 4ooo strike-outs throughout his illustrious career.
However, December 13th 2007 came with an accusation that could sweep all of the above mentioned accolades into a dark closet of speculation and uncertainty. On this day Clemens’ name was listed in the Mitchell Report, which alleged that he had used steroids and HGH during the 1998-2001 seasons. (He won his first World Series in 1999, ouch!)
A long time friend and past teammate by the name of Andy Petitie testified against Clemens saying that they both used the illegal steroid. In the video below Clemens firmly denies any usage of the drug:
WHAT?!
“Andy Pettitte is my friend. He was my friend before this. He will be my friend after this and again. I think Andy has misheard,” Clemens said. “I think he misremembers of our conversation.”
So you’re telling me that this man, paid uber-bucks for his defense team, then sat down with his lawyer(s), went over the case, devised a plan and THIS WAS THE BEST THE COULD COME UP WITH??
Imagine if one of us even thought of trying to say something so preposterous to a judge…hmn.
Judge: Musin, we have every reason even in the world to believe you took steroids. Your best friend said you did it. Your trainer has the needle used.
Musin: Listen man, he misheard, I’m telling you he wasn’t listening when I was telling him the story about someone ELSE using the roids, not me though, never. That is all your honor, that is all.
Judge: Musin, for some reason im beginning to feel very warm up here, sweating even…
Musin: Sorry your honor? Whatever could you mean sir?
Judge: Well, this thick amount of WOOL your trying to pull over my eyes is causing an extreme amount of warmth. Off you go…to the Slammer! (Always wanted to use slammer, nice!)
I couldn’t believe it, if that’s what high profile lawyers get paid to come up with then fu*k it, I’m going to law TONIGHT!! A man who can’t read OR hear for that matter could’ve read a better statement. (That makes sense? Really Musin? You get my point though…)
6 Comments
I think that you’re judging him too harshly, Musin. I once misheard the voices in my head when they told me to go to class this morning. After my professor emailed me to demand why I missed such an important lecture, I explained to him that I had schizophrenia and had thought that the voices had told me that it was best to stay home and rest. He totally understood, and my absence won’t affect my grade in any way…
Hm,
Well then…would it be fair to throw in the good ole’ ‘honesty is the best policy’ right here? I think I will.
Did you check hear these thoughts while hiding under your bed? Hm? Did you?
He misheard…it’s wild that this is THE best his defense could come up.
He didn’t hear. The needle wasn’t there.
Exactly!
“He didn’t hear, it was just a story I was telling…about other people of course, never me. Oh…the needle? Never heard of it…what’s a needle? He mis-saw”
Fuc*ry I say!