That question seems normal, no? It generally is. And the answer, if you have it, would probably be quite useful to the person asking. However, HOWEVER, I’ve found an exception.
Yesterday, I’m taking my usual stroll to work at my usual time. Texting Musin, as I effortlessly ignore the people that will just as effortlessly ask me for change, to buy a paper, listen to a jingle or whatever else they’ve got.
So I’m walking and texting, walking and texting, “dut te doo, dut te doo.” Suddenly, I hear a rash voice to my right, “Miss, can you tell me the time.” As I stop my scrolling and look to my right, I see this “needy-looking” woman embracing the wall with much of her body, while still dangling a cup from her hand. Slightly confused, I tell her it’s 9:55 am (I was late).
Now I ask you, why did she need to know the time? Where was she going? I mean, I would’ve felt a little better if I saw her anticipating a move, doing a little two-step. Something. Anything. But she wasn’t. Ma’am the sun is up, people are going to work…it’s morning.
Am I wrong for assuming that she had nothing to do that was time related?
19 Comments
Clev,
I shall use this post TO hereby solidify the point of you always being late to work.
Your 2nd Paragraph starts with , “Yesterday, I’m taking my usual stroll to work at my usual time.”
You end the 3rd paragraph with, “Slightly confused, I tell her it’s 9:55 am (I was late).”
Does this NOT mean your usual time = late?! AH HA! Score one for Musin.
Now.
(said in M.C. hammer voice)
Stop!
Bummer-Time. Tehehehe.
Also,
Maybe this bum was an expert at her craft. Maybe she has her corners plotted down to a science. She could even know that she could collect X amount of change at X corner from 10 a.m. until 11 a.m.
I would take it a step further and even say she knew it was around that time (to move to an area with higher collective probability) and just wanted to 1) make sure and 2) get your money also.
I would have turned to her and screamed, “Time for you to get a real job!!! BOOYAH!” And maybe, just maybe, I would have done my Booyah Dance. I would have to be in the situation myself to know for sure whether or not the dance was warranted.
You people are mean! Poor bums could need the time as well. She could need to leave at 10 a.m. in order to make it to brekkers or brunch at a local soup kitchen!
Oh Musin, how did I KNOW you were very likely to point out the time of my stroll. However, I must say I was getting better. But since the use of the word “assclown,” it doesn’t matter. Because, I was clearly fired. Yup, I’m at home right now.
Whit, you have a BOOYAH DANCE. Oh my, oh myyyyyyyyyy. Please explain.
Ada, I really don’t think there is a time for the soup kitchen. You didn’t even believe it as you wrote it. There is NO good reason this woman needed the time.
Let’s go with this soup kitchen theory. Now, we’re in downtown DC and PLENTY people are making there way to work at the time I was. This usually means it’s between the hours of 8 – 10 am. Morning. Now in a few hours PLENTY people will come out again meaning it’s between 11 am – 2 pm. Afternoon. Then, between 4 – 6pm you have another rush back to the metro. Evening.
That’s all she needed. I’m a firm believer that all her activities can be planned around those occurrences, no?
I don’t think a bum would ever need specific time unless they had to be somewhere for lets say a … job interview?
PAH!
I believe they can do just fine with Clev’s newly invited, sun-dial-esque, “plenty people outside” clock.
It’s a sacred dance… It can’t be explained…
Ok, it can.
It’s the Running Man. Sometimes I throw in the Sprinkler. Just depends on the severity of the booyah.
So there are degrees of severity within the BOOYAH dance?
(Maybe we should tag this to Abso Ridic also Clev?)
UPDATE: Thanks to Whitney and her BOOYAH dance (all severities & variations considered) this thread has been newly tagged to Abso Ridic.
Take a bow Whit.
Go ahead, don’t be shy.
First and foremost, I’d like to thank Mayor McCheese. He’s really helped me a lot through the years. I mean, really, a guy like that always on the lookout for the Hamburglar? The gentleman needs some credit and what better place to get that credit than right here in the comment section of AbsoHilare?
Secondly, I’d like to thank… I don’t know… I’m pretty sure a hummingbird just flew by my office… It’s February… What the?!
Whitney where do you find this stuff?!??! The Hamburglar?!??!! Do you put these in your back pocket and save them for later? Seriously, when’s the last time you saw Mayor McCheese? (Please don’t tell me yesterday. Just don’t.)
After a day of not going to work, there is no better way to wake up from an afternoon nap than to read Whit’s hummingbird episode.
(And am I the only one lost on the sprinkler.)
I would pay BIG money to see you do this as you yell BOOYAH to a bum asking for the time. The image is hilare.
I have no idea what is wrong with me… And no, I didn’t see Mayor McCheese yesterday. It was Tuesday…
And you don’t know what the sprinkler is?! How is this possible?? It swept the nation in the nineties! Maybe the eighties… I don’t know. I’ll find you some video.
Whit,
I’ve compiled a list of things you MUST present to the AbsoHilare community…and it goes a lil’ sumn like this:
1) Somehow we need to see the BOOYAH boogie into the sprinkler. I too am unaware of this sprinklery you speak of.
2) A test from a local psychologist to prove that you are sane, because I honestly feel your crazy. LMAO.
That is all.
I completely forgot about the Fry Goblins… They were the Hamburglar’s little goons… Why am I leaving this comment here? You guys wrote nothing about the ridiculous McDonald’s characters. That was totally my deal on my site. Forget this comment ever happened.
You didn’t see anything…
Good thing I posted the last comment on this entry, yup, me and no one after. I am the last one, number 17. Before this, was also me, number 16.
Of this I am certain. Good thing Whitney didn’t post any more of her madness.