Safe to say that after seeing the Giants take the championship at a solid SuperBowl party I was SURE to be late to work today.
I am a man of my word. I was late.
I did my usual routine greetings and then made haste to the bathroom to take a SERIOUS leak. While on the way I get a phone call from a friend still frantic about the game informing me that they too were late and the snow was pissing them off.
As I step into the bathroom I was abruptly met by a pungent toxin-like stench. I take a look around to ensure that no one had died and then I realize someone was doing the “Shitty-Feet”. This is when there is someone taking a crap in the stall and all you see is their feet.
So I get off the phone to relieve myself and out of NOWHERE I hear a faint voice echoing from the stall saying, “Is it really snowing outside?”.
WHAT?!? Since when was it alright to speak to a stranger, while doing the Shitty-Feet? I couldn’t believe this man asked me that while sitting down on a toilet seat. He has to be insane. What was I to do?
I wanted NOTHING (at all) to do with this shitty conversation so I washed my hands fervently and moseyed on out the door slowly almost as if I didn’t hear him. Would anyone have taken part in that ridiculous conversation?
LOL!!! Thats crazy! I absolutely HATE IT when dudes want to talk in the bathroom.. WHILE you are takin a PISS!! Its like dude… how disgusting are you?!! You need focus at times.. and I’d still be around 5 seconds later to chat.. WTF
Good Post!
Disgusting. I would never have dignified his nastiness with a response. You’re not supposed to defecate at work. Eew.
If that had been a Jamaican office, he would have had to resign from the shame.
One time at work, I left to shake the dew off my lily. When I returned the security guard who was on duty asked “how did everything go?”
What was I to say? “Oh, gee, it was rough at first, but I gave it the old college try and finished strong.” Maybe I should have said “it went surprisingly smooth today.” Better yet, maybe I should have said “it was terrible! My urine rushed out of me so ferrociously it was like looking Satan in the eye” I bet that woulda stopped her from axin those questions. Nosey.
This my friends had to be my oddest bathroom related exchange of convo.
Who the HELL says shake the dew off my lily??
LMAOOO!!
Aww sheeit…
…”Meet you where ma’am? In your office ? ASAP?
…”
Thanks Randy…I will never keep a job with you folks on AH.
Lucky for me, I lost my job last week, because I surely would…
“Huh, what’s that? ..Out the building..Evic..what?”
Imagine if someone really laughed so hard from reading this they actually got called into their bosses office and had their employment terminated…
(Clev, call the lawyer…)
I have yet to get fired but I have snorted on 3 separate occasions and it always causes the lady across the hall from my office to say, “What was that???”
I told her I had a pet pig named Franklin living under my desk.
I think she’s onto me…
Whitney,
Did the results of that test I strongly encouraged you to take at your local psychologists office come back yet? I’m certain your (hilariously) insane.
But we are no better,
JUST IMAGINE if we parented a pig under our desk at work…LMAO!
You do realize I work for psychiatrists, right? I have the ability to find out if I’m crazy or not right at my fingertips. However, I’m foregoing such actions and prefer to live happily unaware.
But for now, I have to run. Franklin needs to be taken on his nightly walk. He’s a wiley little sucker!
At least he didn’t have the crap strain while he asked the question. “Is it really snowing outside? plop”
If he did that sh*t (no pun intended of course) I would’ve detached those mega-industrial sized rolls of tissue and hurled it over the stall while yelling, “have some respect for yourself you scoundrel!”
LMAO….you scoundrel.
Calling someone a scoundrel is hilare. Fact.
Lol,
sure is Clev, you scoundrel you…
(…still funny then? ehh? you like that? ehh, do you?
how about people who hold full blown convos while in the public restroom on their cellphones.. I mean really …. is that sanitary? me thinks not
[...] I took a look around to ensure that no one had died and then I realized someone was doing the “Shitty-Feet”. This is when there is someone taking a crap in the stall and all you see is their [...]
Wow, that’s the most disgusting shit i ever heard of.. But lmfao. I can’t believe this dude is actually trying to hold a convo. Saddd story heard.