Nope, not the Kanye West song, nor was it a trifling money grubbing freeloading jezebel.
Instead, ’twas a ridiculously bold man on a Queens bound F train utilizing not one, or even two, but ALL five of his (now disgusting) fingers in some super crazy Edward Scissorshand/machine like swiftness to excavate what HAD to have been 24K gold firmly lodged somewhere close to his brain-through his nose.
Thank the Lord I was sitting a fair distance from the “Abominable Nose-Man” because not only was this jackass pissing me off with his barbaric nose digging but he was also becoming a huge THREAT to the other passengers!
After disentangling his knuckle from his nose (I thought he was lucky for not having to amputate it) , he then began to make room for round two by flicking….yes…FLICKING these nose-nuggets with absolutely no regard for the other passengers aboard. I felt like i was being held hostage. It almost felt like he was a bomb, and these flicked nuggets were shrapnel.
I tried to look away but it was just too much to pass up, this man was hacking away at his nose, I’m surprised he wasn’t bleeding at the rate he was going. Plus, if I had looked away, that would’ve drastically increased my chances of getting nailed by nasal napalm; while also increasing the chances of a fight breaking out on the F train.
This man wasn’t even trying to be discreet about it, he would even angle his nose for a better shot at the gold. He was going at it for at LEAST eight minutes. Now I don’t know about you, but I have never seen (nor would like to see again) anything like that in my life.
Luckily he got off soon there after and I was left trembling in fear.
P.s. Imagine how many railings/bars/handles this man went on to fondle after invading his brain via his nose. Sick right? no more railings for me.
18 Comments
Abominable Nose-Man…ohhhhh nooooo. Take it back.
(This story is very sick by the way.) I hope you bathed once you arrived home.
Abominable Nose-Man???…nasal napalm?
laughed so hard i officially stopped breathin for 30 seconds…hope theres no permanent damage
HONESTLY! This was wayyyyy too much. Not only did I RUIN my computer at work (I dont think water is supposed to be on the monitor..but IDK) but I almost lost my lunch. I could so picture this in my head..very twisted and SAD!
Maybe his brain was itching?
I’m pretty sure that qualifies as an act of terrorism…
i’ll get you one of those lil keychain Purell(R) for President’s day. You can be a lot bolder about what you touch after that.
May I ask why President’s day? Is that now a gift-giving holiday?
1)Brain Itch?
IDK man, maybe if he showed me medical documents signed by three doctors diagnosing him with gonorrhea of the brain then i would let it…no, i actually still would not let it slide. ‘Twas an unacceptable arena to play Joust with his boogers.
(I hate the Abominable Nose-Man for what he has done?)
2) He is now listed on the list of wanted terrorists, fact. (this statement is a complete lie)
3) Unless they have ACID strength Purell then I cant make any promises about this whole touching things on the train stuff. I’m scarred for life?
I’m going to get fired from this job, because I cannot help but laugh out loud whenever I illegally read your blogs. I can just picture you curled up in the fetal position scarred/scared on a train!
Pauvre Musin.
Yeah, we should change the name of the blog to “Lose Your Job.”
Plenty of jobs lost because of this. (That last statement was a lie)
I was also fired for reading Absohilare.
I also just lied.
That was hilarious… its even worse catchin dudes who drive and do that..lmao!
Great blog!
Thanks Streetz,
I must say, seeing someone driving and digging = disgusting. BUT being in the line of fire is a WHOLE new ballgame.
Its like the difference between watching Saving Private Ryan and actually being at war in Iraq.
president’s day cuz it was the closest holiday to the day that i posted and i already have a valentine
and 99.9% effective is all i can guarantee…
And a nice fat shut down to A. Musin from Danielle. Ouch! I kid, I kid.
99.9 percent you say?
I would never risk it, still plenty room for error there.
However, send me cases by the dozen. Bulk shipment to my doorstep please.
Dude, you are absohilare! The best writer around!!!