“….As I step into the bathroom I was abruptly met by a pungent toxin-like stench. I took a look around to ensure that no one had died and then I realized someone was doing the “Shitty-Feet”. This is when there is someone taking a crap in the stall and all you see is their feet…”
Just my luck!
Once again I step to el baño (yeah…I like to mix in a little Español here and there to keep you on your toes) to relieve my bladder and surely there is someone already seated with some shit going on. (No pun intended?) Oddly, as of late it seems like every time I wander off to the the lavatory someone is there, taking a crap. No lie! It is quite disturbing folks, I’ve even tried to go to another bathroom, same deal. I know its weird but this is what happens so I figured I would share it with you.
So, as I enter bathroom I am immediately blind sighted by the most FOUL one-two punch of STANK in ages. ‘Twas not pleasant, at all! So the way this here bathroom is situated is as follows. You have three urinals then the stalls beside them. I chose to use the one furthest away from the stall as to attempt to dodge the stench. So I’m handling my business and while habitually observing my surroundings I stumble upon someone else doing the “Shitty Feet”. This man however, was a Shitty Feet professional.
There was NO shame in his game. Now, at my place of employment (as like many others) we have our I.D cards in order to swipe between different levels of the building. Could it just have been the shitty luck of this man to have caused his Shitty Feet to be displayed DIRECTLY beside his WORK I.D ?!? I tell you this, I was CRACKIN’ UP! I mean, he HAD to hear me laughing because he did a little foot shuffle. He was doing what I have come to call the “Identified Shitty Feet”. Name, picture and department out for all for the world to see.
I am sorry to do this BUT…Mr. Kester Julian, If you are reading this sir, please be more careful when doing the Shitty Feet. That is all.
Now, I’m off to Martial Arts class. (Pah! What a fu*kin Lie! Carry on now…Nothing else to see here)
7 Comments
You sir, have no luck when it comes to Shitty Feet! You should just purchase a clothes pin or something (maybe a face mask), and take it to work with you. Perhaps some Glade sprayed directly under their stall will let your offenders get the gist. Either way, you’re shit out of luck (pun and all).
And as for putting his name for the world to see, feel no shame. I would have done worse…
Musin, I don’t for a second believe you felt any guilt/shame/remorse for exposing this poor man to the world. SMH
However, I do believe you are the karate kid. :X
U sir, have no respect for confidentiality, coworkers, or bathroom etiquette, LMAO!
NO SIR!
This man, who shan’t remain nameless, has no respect for himself, public property nor his work identification card.
That is all.
A little over the top here man, but worse things have happen, there have been lots of talk of frequent masterbation in corporate restrooms.
*Message from AbsoHilare (AH) Management:
Dear Shawn,
What the hell bro? What kinda shite are you bringing here? Whatever it is, I don’t want it. Nope, not buying it here sir. Move along.
Sincerely,
A.Musin.
I think you are evil for outing that poor man. A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do, no? When you’re that desperate, you don’t care what’s going on with your belongings in the stall. You just WANT. TO. GO. Also, to poster Shawn, you have a very valid point, but I was truly distracted by your spelling and grammar. I don’t mean to be fanatical about it, but those things are really important.