It’s safe to say that just about everyone reading this has had Chinese food. Whether it was PF Chang’s or your local neighborhood Kim’s Hunan Oriental Peking Great Wall Dragon Buffet Wok, you’ve had it. Pardon the name tangent, but apparently I wasn’t the only one who realized how unoriginal these names were; this man did too. Hilare. This man devoted a website that auto generates these jaded (get this one?) Chinese Restaurant name selections. Our personal favorite was “Little Hungry Again in 15 Minutes”.
Moving along, the first time someone presented me with a Chinese food menu I was befuddled. So many options – how could they possibly have all these wonderfully seasoned affordable meal options available all the same time?
Now, I would say think outside the box next time you take a trip or place an order from your favorite Asian eatery but you don’t have to, it’s clear as day! Chinese food is a hoax, all smoke and mirrors, Wool over your eyes I say!
So here is my beef (puns perhaps): let’s say you’d like some chicken for lunch today, sounds fair? Good, chicken it is. Now, lets look into your lunch special options, wait, you may see about 6-8 “different” chicken options but in all reality its probably about 2 real choices. The rest of them are the same two just with different vegetable decorations and a sprinkle of sauce variance. Don’t believe me? Go pick up the closest menu and tell me what you see. Chicken with broccoli, chicken in garlic sauce, chicken in black bean sauce, schezuan chicken, chicken in curry sauce, chicken with eggplant and so on and so forth. The most deceiving part is the fact that they change the prices for these remixed chicken dishes; truly unfair to the consumer.
Its all the same thing! Listen, take my advice and mix it up. I caught onto this trickery by ordering what I thought to be two completely different exquisite meals yet little did I know it was just like the other one but with water chestnuts. PMO! (Pissed Me Off)
Listen here local China man, stop fooling people, this “diverse menu” trickery has to come to an end. We are onto you, everything is all the same with different veggies…the jig is up!
ENJOY the Holdiay weekend, I will be having an Usain Bolt party for sure. Oh, and before i go, effnbc!
2 Comments
You are hilarious… think about the difference between sesame chcken and general tsos chicken. THATS the same shit too!!! crazy
yea son son… all smoke n mirrors
Hilarious!
I am seaching for some idea to write in my blog… somehow come to your blog. best of luck. Eugene