You know the drill… The lady two cubicles down is making the rounds. It’s Wednesday and that means it’s Lotto Pool Day. You dig in your pocket or your wallet or your purse to pull out a measly dollar or two and fork it over. Every now and then there’s the day where you don’t have the cash flow… Just not happening this week. And don’t even deny the tiny sigh of relief when you walk into work that Thursday morning and it’s business as usual. Clearly, there were no winners here. You didn’t miss out on that brand spanking new beach house you’ve always planned on buying if Lady Luck ever did happen to be on your side. But what if… what if the unthinkable happened? What if they DID win on the day you opted out??? You come into work only to find a dimly lit office… maybe a fluorescent light flickering in the far corner. Talk about bad feelings.
But you KNOW there was THAT guy. Somebody didn’t have a warm and crumpled up dollar shoved in their pocket. Someone just HAD to have a bag of Skittles from the vending machine of the fourth floor. Someone was a McD’s Dollar Menunaire for lunch only to miss out on being a legitimate MILLIONAIRE the very next day.
And there really couldn’t be a more depressing situation as you sit, plugging away entering in that account information while the new guy next to you says, “Oh so you’re new here too?” You have to tell the truth. It’s going to come out. “Actually, no, I was the one guy who didn’t put in on the lotto pool so I actually had to KEEP my job. I’m the only original employee here.”
*Awkward silence, sideways glances, possibly the sound of someone in the background sucking in air through their teeth… You know, the universal sign for “Ohhhhh, too bad.” [if you haven't already, seriously try doing the above and see how familiar it is]
We can all have a good laugh now… You know, until we end up being THAT GUY.
Welcome to the new series of Sucks to be THAT Guy. Long live AH!
Tags: lottery, lottery winner, lotto, McDonald's, millionaire, Skittles, work lottery
The bad feelings in this post are at an all time high. I’m gonna go jump off a bridge now.
Excellent… that sux fa reel
Man,
I’d like to be the first to say this, not really sure how Itty forgot (*slight chuckle) it but damn–it must SUCK to be THAT GUY.
Itty, that whole breathing in air through teeth line, pure genius. I wasn’t exactly sure what (the hell) you were talking about until I tried it for myself. Hats off to you, friend.
This series shall be a grand time, filled with many comedic FAILS. I mean, whats more humorous than an epic fail? Not many things, that’s the answer.
The teeth thing??? Is it NOT the universal sign for “ohhhhh… that’s too bad???” Tell me it is. I’ll wait.
*waiting…
And I can’t wait until we come up with more STBTG posts. Hilarity will be at an all-time high.
Oh it was perfect, that’s why I was in awe.
Duh?
You had me at hola, Musin. You had me at hola.
Un poquito Espanol ehh?
AbsoHilare has become bi-lingual?
[*Inset SAP button here]
What are the chances we could get picked up by Telemundo? TELL ME THERE’S A CHANCE.
Telemundo is one of the funniest words to me. Guaranteed chuckle every time. Also add: chancletas and ninja to the list.
P.S. -I still don’t understand this lottery story.
NINJA! (*Clev laughs, for sure)
Easily one of the funniest words to me, for no apparent reason.
Itty,
I’m not sure if that’s possible, we only know but some much Spanish. Maybe we could shoot for a spot on Soccer [Football] matches to yell GOAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLL!
I’d definitely sign up for that, all the way. Telemundo, [*Clev laughs] here we come!