Abso Hilare

I know I know…the posts have somewhat decreased but fret not young world, AH is still very much alive and well. Team is doing well, work just kicks THE most arse this summer. Yarr.

So over the past few weeks I’ve seen a few chucklers on the good ole’ iron horse but I wanted to compile a list of hilarity to deliver all at once. Well, what are you waiting for, see list below:

1) The F train stops at 71st Street to do the most intense transfer [blatant hyperbole] known to man. People are flying in and out of this train trying to scramble to catch the next. So this older chubby dude was the last to attempt the switch; his face meeting only the soon closing doors. With one last burst of energy he forced one arm in and lodged his shoulder in the door. Wild already. So he then pulls some Hulk shit and rips open the door of the train. With grease stains and all Captain Rotund finally lands his first foot through the now open door. AS he THINKS to lift the other leg to make the big walk in comes the NYPD, “excuse me sir, get off the damn train and show me some ID.” Yea, fail!

2) If there was a Family Feud Episode with a section titled, “Things you would find on the NYC Subway” I’m sure that there would be a heated battle for number 1. Would be a nail biter between Newspapers & Bums…I really don’t know who would come out the victor (no, I don’t know anyone by the name, asshat). Anyway, newspaper wins (for this post) and I’ve seen some shit. Just this morning I saw an older man briskly flipping through the pages of this today’s paper. One page after the next, quickly. It almost looked like a slow motion newspaper cartoon. So I’m thinking to myself, got damn gramps can read like shit! Either that or he just wasn’t interested in ANY of the articles. So out of curiosity I peek over and I swear to you the shit was upside down. Old man, its much better to read the paper right side up. Be good now.

2a) If you are going to fall asleep, put the paper down. I know you can’t always see the sandman coming but you KNOW when you’re tired. Nothing more embarrassing than falling asleep and having your wrist do one last fall to your lap HURLING your newspaper into the aisle of the train. Then when you wake up (right after) you see your newspaper on peoples feet and then have to pick it up. Not your best moment little Indian man, not your best.

3) The train transfer game is tricky. Thus with any tricky game there is a high risk of losing. So this person had to be late because he was staring across the way impatiently waiting for the E train to come like a starving person waits for their supper. He saw the (faster) E train approaching, then jumped from his (comfy F train) seat and sprung towards the door only to be the first witness to both doors closing. Loss. He lost his seat, and got stuck standing on said train. Imagine what the person that took his seat is thinking, probably laughing plenty on the inside I bet. What really sucks is the other train across the way was only another effin’ F train. The saddest part of this all is that well; this person was me. :/. Musin takes the loss and chalks it up to experience.

Long live AH! Enjoy the weekend!
Musin, out.

P.s. Why is it ALWAYS the Chinese lady that wants to squeeze into the middle seat that never was? Them and the…well; portly folk.

Tags: 71st and roosevelt, e train, f train, f train transfer, fail, family feud, newspaper, NYC, nypd, subway, Subway Chronicles, train #fail, train newspaper