Category Archives: About us

About us Abso Ridic Couldn't Make This Up

RAISE THE ROOF!!

March 24, 2008 – 9:35 pm

Another Sunday has just passed and with Sunday for Musin, comes church (said like chuuuch).

This time around they decided to bring in an ex-member of a once internationally popular contemporary gospel group. This was sure to be an entertaining piece, but I really had no idea what was in store for me.

The idea of what I was in for came to me within the first five seconds of the performance. The overly enthusiastic performer uttered “Please CUE my MUSIC…Track 2 !” as his first line. From there, I KNEW i was in for a show. The track plays, and the one man show begins. When I tell you this man was a gospel machine, I mean it! No lie here, none. Dance, Song, More dance even a little interlude with a small story, miniature testimony and even a tiny sermon mixed in. One man team here folks, no doubt about it. ( He did SIX full length church songs during his overstayed visit to the stage.)

I knew this had potential to make the AH ranks but it wasn’t until the height of his performance did I realize that this HAD to be posted. I come to church late all the time, not accidentally, simply because in my eyes the service is entirely too long. If I get lucky I can find a seat in the back, if not…front row it is. This Sunday my lateness landed me a prime front row view, dead center. So as this man gets into what HAD to have been his favorite song out of no where he (wildly) begins to RAISE THE ROOF!! I was flabbergasted, I could not even think to tell you when was the last time I/anyone I knew RAISED THE ROOF. This daring performer took a bold step into church history by pulling this move.

So as I CRACK UP about how ridiculous this RAISING OF THE ROOF is, I turn around to make sure that my cousin realizes how wild it is that the performer is RAISING THE ROOF only to see the ENTIRE congregation RAISING THE ROOF. It was then, that i knew, it HAD to come back. I was in disbelief for a good 2 whole minutes…until I then found myself RAISING said ROOF. That thing sure is catchy…

Does anyone remember when it was big back in the day? If you were raising the roof you were undoubtedly having a GOOD TIME! It’s only right that we bring it back. Since then, I’ve Raised the roof from NY to DC and back. I’ve raised the roof in the office, I’ve raised the roof at parties, I’ve raised the roof in team meetings, I’ve raised the roof in my bosses office, I will continue to RAISE THE ROOF until it regains the strength it one had.

I now even use it to replace the word “yes”. Like so…

Random: Hey Musin, are you going to post that hilarious shite (no typo, shite is what we say) we saw the other day?

Musin: [* Furiously Raises the Roof*]

It works like a charm, and it leaves no gray area. If you raise the roof you are DOWN for whatever you have agreed to, by law.

Cheers….to raising the roof!

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About us Abso Ridic Couldn't Make This Up Random

Things of that Nature…PMO!

February 27, 2008 – 10:03 am

(Picks up microphone at podium)

Firstly,

I can’t STAND office meetings. I don’t know what it is but as soon as I even peer into the conference room it’s almost as if I become locked in a choke hold of sleep! I can hang for about a good 15-20 minutes without dozing but after that all bets are OFF!

This time however I got caught off guard with a serious double whammy. Not only was I trying to loosen the grip of the sandman but I was also being subjected (repeatedly) to the most annoying, overused, thoughtless phrase known to man. I wanted to rip my ears off, then, paste them over my eyes as to not hear or see anything else related this corpulent pile of bore.

Blah blah blah blah blah and “Things of that nature.”

BOO! I mean, once here and there i can’t get mad at that. (Even though I will because I hate it.) But this man was blatantly abusing this cop out phrase. It’s clearly a phrase for people who lacking in vocabulary stature or are simply fluffing the majority of their sentence. Evil people they are, evil. This man wasn’t even using it as a life boat, he just LOVED using it. Imagine every other sentence ending in things of that nature.

Imagine if I was to tell you about boring things you would be uninterested, disappointed, pissed and things of that nature. When you read AbsoHilare you enjoy yourself, laugh, tell your friends and things of that nature. PYO (Pissin’ You Off) yet? It’s definitely PMO! If it isn’t lets continue…So during the week most adults go to work, go to after work events, watch TV/Movies and things of that nature. On the weekends these folks usually use the extra time to hang out late, shop plenty, hang out late and things of that nature. PMO!

I can’t even put myself through the pain of typing this anymore. It’s either you learn some more damn words or wrap the sh*t up. You can use a period you know. What usually pisses me off is when it is used the sentence was already over! 99.9% of the time its used for no reason, only to piss me off apparently. Either learn some more synonymous terminologies or end the friggin sentence.

(Puts down the microphone and walks off stage with both hands in the air. No reason for hands in the air to be honest just for show, adds effect. Respect my hands in the air.)

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About us Random Seriously Funny

A. Musin Goes Ice Skating…

February 19, 2008 – 3:06 pm

Yes folks,

For the FIRST time in my life I threw on a pair of the good ole’ ice skates. Now, I have NO form of skating experience, none! Not even roller-skates, roller-blades, nothing! Haven’t even had a dream about skating. So this is literally my first attempt at this gliding craft, ever!

So as I sheepishly mosey over to the edge I decide to take some time before making the big step that could change my life forever. I then said a small prayer, asked random folks for a couple pointers, looked to my counter-parts (who ALL said they had ZERO skating experience) and made my first attempt at this ice-skating jazz.

To my Surprise, the pointers worked! I wasn’t necessarily skating just yet but I was making my way around the rink by doing what I like to call ‘ice-walking’. Wasn’t so much skating yet but I was taking baby steps around this frozen circle. I was and still am proud of myself.

So a friend of mine who LIED and said he had no experience was doing VERY well. Come to find out he used to Rollerblade. WOOL! This whole time he sent us out to DIE. It’s clearly a very easy transition to apply one concept to the other. I was pissed. So he is here flying, doing well, having the time of his life while I’m still doing my slow and steady wins the race move.

At this point I was content with pulling off the skates and chalking it up as a good experience. (I should listen to myself more often.) So i decide to take one more lap and try to kick it up a notch. At this point in time the Jamaican version of Brian Boitano decides to give Musin a (non-requested) push to boost my speed…OHHHH NOOOO!!!

It was BAD! I mean, arms flailing to keep balance, I also pulled the ‘going down in ball of flames circular downward spiral move’ (bad idea because now everyone is looking at me)…all of this of course done before my legs went from beneath me and then I saw the tip of my skates running parallel with the piping in the ceiling then KABOOM!

Ouch!

Honestly, I was PISSED! I didn’t fall ONCE! Didn’t help that I had been laughing at the rest of them all day for flapping on ice all day like a fish outta’ water. But as fate would have it I too suffered a cold fumble and it wasn’t pleasant, ruined my clean sheet and my elbow might still be hurting. I should have never flailed, would have saved me the widened embarrassment and the elbow landing.

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About us Nine to Five Random

I’m A Fool?!?

January 28, 2008 – 11:46 am

No, I am not. Clearly someone was mistaking me for one.

So, I’m a photographer, right. And every now and then I have people try to TRICK me into shooting an event for them for free. I don’t like wool, so please dont try and put it over my eyes, no me gusta.

I get an email a few days ago from a theatre telling me that someone referred me to them and they would like me to shoot their gala. Yippppeeeeee, right? But wait, what do they offer me for payment…FREE tickets. I don’t think you understand. It’s free to see the shows. Get that…They offered me FREE tickets to something that is already FREE. They basically said, “Hey, chances are you’re bored and dumb so you might as well use your fancy camera over here, for free.”

Just imagine being at work and your boss asks you to work an extra 20 hours. For compensation, he offers you an extra pack of paper clips. That’s right, he’s going to give you all the paper clips (that are readily available to anyone), because there is NO WAY you could get them anywhere else; wool.

Here’s some more things that PMO about this email:

1. This lady starts the email by telling me how great the person that referred me is. (Nope, nothing about how great I am. Maybe you think she’s so great because she convinced you that I was a jackass and willing to work for these “tickets.” PMO)

2. Then she tells me they are celebrating their 30th anniversary. (So, after 30 years, you guys haven’t found a way to raise money.)

3. There will be great food and an open bar. (Oh, because I will be able to enjoy these things right? So you guys HAVE found a way to raise money, but just not to pay me because the person who referred me told you I was a jackass.)

So yeah, ma’am from the theatre, go blow dry your face.

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