Witty banter about any kind of clothing possible–ever.
So i was having a convo with Clev a few weeks back and we realized that the folks who named MAJOR articles of clothing were crazed–abso ridic!
With that said i give to you the proper title for these ill-named articles. They are heavily used here at AbsoHilare so i advise you read this closely, unless you want to be confused of course. You never know, some people get a kick outta that stuff. No? no.
Now that winter is here yagatta wear the appropriate attire to stay WARM. What does one buy to stay WARM these days? a SWEAT-er? No no no my brotha–a WARMER. I dont know about the rest of you folks but upon my purchase of said item my goal is NOT to be SWEATING ALL THE DAMN TIME, i just want to be warm, so thats why it should’ve been and will be called from here on out– a “warmer”. (Couldnt understand for the life of me HOW THE HELL they made this blunder but I’m happy its solved, whew!). Ex. “I am going to wear black V-neck Warmer to work tomorrow because its dress-down friday”. (and not a damn HOODY!)
Next up we have the infamous clothing item widely referred to as “Pants”. Now, just so you know im not crazed, and for information purposes ONLY, this is what i found when i looked up pant in the dictionary:
1. to breathe hard and quickly, as after exertion.
2. to gasp, as for air.
3. to long with breathless or intense eagerness; yearn: to pant for revenge. and so on and so forth.
NONE OF THOSE HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE GARMENT THAT COVERS ME FROM WAIST TO ANKLE, i know for damn sure my “pants” cant pull off any of those–so where they hell are these people getting there info?? Withthat said, since they are mainly to cover ur legs, they will be referred to as “Leggers” from here on out.Ex. “Im wearing grey dress leggers in the office today.” ( i dont even know how i feel about “trousers” being applicable, just looks wierd)Â
Now, lastly, and probably the MOST ABSO. RIDIC. would be one of my favorite items. The “SNEAKer”. (PMO!=Pissing/Pissed Me Off)
Now when i hit up my local “SNEAKer” spot i dont go in there with the intention to purchase the best fit to go snooping around the streets of NY in stealth mode. I buy them to walk/run comfortably in. So with that said, from here on out they shall be referred to as “walkers/runners” accordingly.Ex “If you pick up a nice pair of Stan Smith walkers congrats/ if you purchase a nifty(one my fav words BTW) pair of Air Max Runners then good work”
This report is being submitted for informational purposes only, govern your future clothing verbiage accordingly. I hope you all agree, if not–toughbreak foo’.
P.s : You MUST admit that these things are ABSO RIDIC!! How did they not see this ? Fools.
-A. Musin
So,
Another Friday is upon us which means…DRESS DOWN FRIDAY! Good for some, a NIGHTMARE for others! So there is one dude who constantly takes it upon himself to strut in here as if it’s no longer an office and he wasn’t wearing a shirt & tie the day before. I sometimes wonder how he still remains an active employee with the foolishness he tries to pull.
Our company has STRICT (apparently not so much) rules when it comes to dress-down Friday. I always play it safe with a sweater, nice pair of slacks and loafers/boat shoes (whatev feels right in the marnin’). Other folks are prone to mix it up a bit but all still remain professional. NOW, you have this man who I shall kindly refer to as “jack-ass” who comes in wearing Timberland boots, the most dingy pair of BLUE jeans, and an all black over-sized HOODY!!!! A HOODY!!! What part of the game is that? Lookin’ like a damn construction worker. I know I’m not the only one with a co-worker who constantly commits flagrant fouls on dress-down Friday. I can’t be.