The absurdities that transpire throughout the course of the work day.
January 11, 2008 – 4:31 pm
So I’m on my break here at work in the lunch room lazing around a bit, watching some tv and enjoying the fact that the weekend is here. 1) I can relax. 2) American Gladiators is only 3 days away!
As i decide to head back upstairs and finish up what i have to do i became a witness to the MOST startling sight known to man. Now as we all know i have seen Dress Down Fridays go wrong before but this…this takes the cake.
So this man appears almost of nowhere looking like a mix between Fonzie from Happy Days and John Travolta in Grease. I lie to you NOT! This man had the heart of a lion , he had to, he was wearing a burgundy crushed velvet shirt!! I swore it was a walking SOFA!! As he came down the steps i EXPLODED in laughter, i had no choice! If i didn’t laugh, i would’ve died keeping it in. I WISH you folks could’ve seen the stunt this man tried to pull, chest hairs woofin’ and all!!
That was some wild shit.
Add 45 pounds, a burgundy crushed velvet shirt, and some chest hair and that’s your guy.
December 27, 2007 – 2:55 pm
It’s CHRISTMAS time again!
With this being my first year with the company I figured it would be a good look for me to sign up for this “Secret Santa” shindig they were organizing. They set a $30 maximum so I figured why the hell not.
I just happened to luck out and pick my bosses name out the hat! No sweat- I know what she likes and what she listens to so I got her a huge black & white poster of the NYC skyline to match her other posters & the new Lupe Fiasco CD as she loves his music.
So it’s safe to say I put thought into my extremely HOT gift for my boss. No? I think so. The person who picked my name out the hat obviously didnt get the “Hot Gift ONLY” memo.
So my secret santa drops off this lil’ shiny bag and says “HERE YOU GO! HAPPY HOLIDAYS!” So the set-up was great. I (excitedly) sift through the excessive gift stuffing paper to run into a tie. Now don’t get me wrong folks, I am a very appreciative person and the tie was decent BUT when I went I stumbled upon the rest of the contents in this very gift bag I was at a loss for words. (Sidebar- I am never at a loss for words)
So in addition to the tie she gave me a bar of chocolate and (get this)…a 24 box of fuckin’ CRAYOLA crayons accompanied by one of those faux old-school 100 dollar bill wrapped pencils. YO I WAS SOOOOO PISSED!! I wanted un-plug my keyboard, walk it over to her desk, and backhand her with it. Then throw (one by one) each and every crayon in that box at her.
Secret Santa: Good for some but for me, not so much.
December 21, 2007 – 9:33 am
So,
Another Friday is upon us which means…DRESS DOWN FRIDAY! Good for some, a NIGHTMARE for others! So there is one dude who constantly takes it upon himself to strut in here as if it’s no longer an office and he wasn’t wearing a shirt & tie the day before. I sometimes wonder how he still remains an active employee with the foolishness he tries to pull.
Our company has STRICT (apparently not so much) rules when it comes to dress-down Friday. I always play it safe with a sweater, nice pair of slacks and loafers/boat shoes (whatev feels right in the marnin’). Other folks are prone to mix it up a bit but all still remain professional. NOW, you have this man who I shall kindly refer to as “jack-ass” who comes in wearing Timberland boots, the most dingy pair of BLUE jeans, and an all black over-sized HOODY!!!! A HOODY!!! What part of the game is that? Lookin’ like a damn construction worker. I know I’m not the only one with a co-worker who constantly commits flagrant fouls on dress-down Friday. I can’t be.
