Category Archives: Seriously Funny

Couldn't Make This Up Seriously Funny

Is this really a good time to nap Bill?

January 23, 2008 – 2:12 am

Bill Clinton falls asleep during MLK ceremony? Hmmm..Is he kidding me?!?! Sleep, during a speech, that’s hot?

Oh, I don’t know…after being a public figure for a ridiculous amount of years, when do you begin to realize what cameras look like? You don’t see them? YOU don’t see them?

He better quickly find a little black baby to kiss to make up for this.

Note: We caught this earlier. But when deciding to post American Gladiators or something else, well American Gladiators is usually going to win.

Bill Clinton + Sleep During MLK Speech – No Black Baby to Kiss = LOSS

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Couldn't Make This Up Seriously Funny

NINJA BANDIT?!

January 16, 2008 – 12:26 pm

The following excerpt was taken from Newsday.com (really) :

NEW YORK – Staten Island’s costumed crook known as the Ninja Bandit has apparently struck for the 19th time.

In the latest incident, a family on Melhorn Road in the Castleton Corners neighborhood reported that the thief stole more than $100,000 worth of jewelry.

“The M.O. fits the pattern” of the 18 earlier Ninja heists [ NINJA HEISTS?!?! ] , said Officer Martin Speechley, a police spokesman.

The burglary took place between Wednesday and Friday of last week, Speechley said. (1) A sliding glass door was left open, indicating that the thief exited through it and may have entered through it, he said.

The victim, Dr. Shahabuddin Ahmad, told the Staten Island Advance that (2)the home has an alarm system but it did not go off.

(3)”I feel afraid, insecure, violated and depressed … very depressed,” Ahmad said.

The Ninja Bandit got his nickname after an earlier victim said (4)the intruder wielded a set of nun-chucks when they scuffled in the home owner’s kitchen in September. Other residents have also said they encountered the burglar, but the suspect has managed to escape each time.

The Ninja’s burglary spree has prompted Police Commissioner Raymond Kelly to (5) urge Staten Islanders to lock their doors and windows and to activate their alarm systems.

- Alright now first of all this man is brilliant. WHO…WHO sits home and thinks, “Hmm, i wonder what costume I want to sport while robbing these rich fools? Ah HA! I’m going to be a NINJA!” A NINJA?!?

Now onto my numbered points.

(1) A sliding glass door was left open = PLEASE ROB MY HOME whenever you get a chance.

(2)the home has an alarm system but it did not go off. So what your saying is you actually DON’T have this alarm system you speak of. An “alarm” system is supposed to “alarm” you of intruders no? Well if it doesnt friggin alarm smarty pants, YOU DON’T own one!

(3)”I feel afraid, insecure, violated and depressed … very depressed.” This man is a melting pot of emotion! He is feeling ALL TYPA WAYS about this incident!

(4)the intruder wielded a set of nunchucks when they scuffled in the homeowner’s kitchen. Honestly, if a man popped up in a black ninja suit swinging friggin nun-chucks in my kitchen i’d probably hit the floor in tears–OF LAUGHTER! I would laugh so hard i would probably piss myself and then say GET the hell outta my house with those damn nun-chucks Ninja Gaiden. :>X

(5) urge Staten Islanders to lock their doors and windows and to activate their alarm systems. If it takes your local Police Commissioner to urge you to lock your doors and turn on your alarm then I will personally drive to Staten Island and rob your house myself. That makes NO sense to me that grown ass people need to be reminded to lock the doors of their homes! Also, is the the BEST your towns Police Commissioner can come up with to solve the NINJA PROBLEM this town is facing?

What a crazy world we live in.

Update: This is the Ninja villain our dear friend Whitney would be if she had a choice. I bring to you, The NinjaBread Man.

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Seriously Funny

That’s My Quarterback

January 14, 2008 – 1:44 pm

So, not only did the Dallas Cowboys suffer a major loss to the Giants yesterday, but Terrell Owens, for some reason, felt it necessary to CRY as he defended Tony Romo.  This is another simple equation folks:
Terrell Owens + Crying = Embarrassing Loss for T.O.

UPDATE: Musin and I are having a little disagreement over here. I can’t figure out why, but he doesn’t find this video funny. However there is this video of a dumb DOG crying that he thinks is funny. We need your help. Watch the two videos below and tell us what’s funnier…T.O. crying or the dog crying

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Couldn't Make This Up Random Seriously Funny

Cash Money and Other Life Lessons

January 11, 2008 – 4:50 am

Let’s talk about mad and stupid.

I’m mad because this little old couple (no idea why I think they were little) was so stupid. If you’ve been on this earth for 65 years, you should know a few things by now.

So, this couple moves into an apartment. Putting in boxes, clearing stuff out, inspecting this, yadda yadda yadda. Now, they head to clean the freezer and in the process, they find $12,000 stuffed in the back of it.

What do they do with the money you ask? Oh oh oh my friends, they turn it in. Yup, that’s right, they turned it in to the oc-i-fers. So now, they’re hoping they’ll get to keep the money since nobody is claiming it. OF COURSE nobody is claiming it. Do you think someone ACCIDENTALLY left $12,000 in CASH MONEY (this term has never made any sense to me. Just think about it for a second, CASH MONEY).

As it turns out, and no shock to me, the apt was raided before they moved in and the previous tenants were arrested on all types of drug charges. Now, I’m def into returning things that aren’t mine, but if you find money in a freezer after the previous tenants were arrested on drug charges, it’s safe to keep it. If you’re 65, you should know that, no? Because if you turn it in, this is what will happen: The police say the city will likely keep the money.

If you do decide to turn it in, just don’t tell me you’re hoping they’ll give it back to you. Friggin PMO (pissing me off, for those of you that have joined us late).

So, I ask you this…Have you ever wanted to ask someone that’s invaded your personal space, “You’re aware you smell horrible, right?” (Yes, I’m aware that this question has abso nothing to do with the previous story, but do I really have to ask who would keep it?)

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Seriously Funny Tunes

MC Hammer and Tech Company Doesn’t Go Together

January 3, 2008 – 1:19 pm

Why can’t some people stay out of the media? Names like OJ Simpson and Rodney King come to mind. Even though MC Hammer’s latest stunt isn’t as ridiculous as the last media entries for those two, I’m still not into it.

It seems that your man Hammer is starting a tech company. When the headline reads, “MC Hammer’s next act: Tech entrepreneur,” chances are nobody is taking him seriously.

Really Hammer? A tech company. What does he know about technology? Well, it turns out he’s riding the YouTube thing and co-created a Web site for sharing and watching music videos. It’s not that the idea is horrible, but HOW is this different from YouTube. The name DanceJam isn’t grabbing me either.

However, I bit. I went to the site and immediately dived off when something invited me to “get my groove on.” The diamonds floating around on the side of the page also made me sick. Maybe this is for you, but it sho nuff isn’t for me. I’m sticking with 2008.

However, Can’t Touch This is classic.

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