Tag Archives: christmas

Oh You Fancy, Huh?

Background: It was Easter Sunday. The end.

Oh come on! Don’t be surprised, you already know you don’t need any more background information than that. The world knows that Easter Sunday is when you can expect to see the most efforts in fanciness that your mind can fathom. This happens because this is when the folks that never come to church decide to show up for the “holiday-blessings”. I’m certain you are familiar with their kind; the people that show up on Easter, Mother’s Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas and even New Years if they feel like it. The New Year effort is to attempt to start of the year fresh; sin-free even. The reason these people look so foolish at the service is because of one of the two following things:

1) They do not own many suits or clothing acceptable for the house of Baby Jesus.
2) They own plenty suits, unfortunately all from their disco days. (Note: this options yields the most hilarity)

Now I can’t honestly say I have the slightest clue where this man found his inspiration to throw together this ensemble but without further adieu I present to you one of the most fancy failures in Easter Sunday History:

oh you fancy huh? tie done. tie done. everything did.

"oh you fancy huh? tie done. tie done. everything did."

THIS SHIT IS WILD! What do you think he was thinking? How does one adequately define the expression on this man’s face? The best I  could come up with is comfortably awkward.

I now leave the floor open for captions for this man’s outfit. I had a ton of them attack the forefront of my mind all at once.

“I didn’t know which one to wear so I wore both.”
“I didn’t know which one I liked more; it was a tie.”
“Close knotted race, on my chest area.”
“You like this? Knot me.”

Alright I’m going to stop here. Take it away.

p.s. A friend of mine took this pic and I seriously have no idea how it came out this clear. I would’ve been laughing so hard the image clarity would have been poor at best.

Long Live AH!

An AbsoHilare Christmas

‘Twas the morning of Christmas and all was jolly in the halls of the Clarke household. Everyone had just consumed a solid breakfast and it was now time to open the gifts. I came prepared this year, top notch gifts for the family members across the board. *pats self on back.

The way it works is like this, whoever is getting the gifts gets all their gifts at once. Example, if Its “my turn”, I get all my shit from everyone then and there. Less confusion and it gets it all out the way at once. No back and forth. So after my father got all his gifts, it was my brother’s turn. Sister got him a new camera, I got him a RL shirt, and then my mom decides to pop up with her slew of gifts…

Right off the bat she steals the effin’ show. (Note: my mother is WAY out of touch with pop culture.) She excitedly hands him a small well wrapped gift as her first of 4 items. With a huge smile my brother begins violently unwrapping this gift. So I’m like, what the fuck could that be?! I wish I had never asked!

Turns out it was a t-shirt, he opened it with the front facing him. So all I saw was a black t-shirt; until he turned it around. This was the time in which I realized my 29-year old brother had just received a Twilight t-shirt with Edward Cullen’s FACE on the front. It was OVER! My sister hit the floor, dying with laughter. I couldn’t contain my chuckles either, I was belting them out.

The best was my mom’s face when her children were rolling on the floor in laughter after opening her first gift. The funny thing is she was like, “well I thought he would love it, its all the rage these days.” Yeah mom, it might be–for sappy 14-year old teenage girls! Needless to say the latter 3 gifts made up for the first, but that shit was epic.

[Some of you may have heard this before, but this part I saved ONLY for the purpose of this post.]

After my brother got his gifts, my mother got hers and then it was my turn. Brother gave me a nice sweater, sister got me a nice pair of jeans, then it was time to open mom’s gift.

I’m (clearly) already leery about her Christmas contributions but what else can I do, NOT open my mother’s Christmas gifts? As I pick up this tightly wrapped gift I hear my mother chuckle to herself in the corner. At that point I knew it, I KNEW the loss that was coming to smite me. Ripped open the gift and just as I thought–another fucking Twilight shirt. Hello Fail whale! Same shit too! At that point I really had to give her a talking to. Lucky for her she got me some other boss gifts to make up for it.

Christmas was hilare, clearly.

Happy New Year!
-A. Musin