You have to love NYC! I know people do wild shit all over the world, but I’ll bet big bucks that the majority of this wild shittery transpires in the ciudad of Nueva York. [*Turns off SAP] Oh, what kinda shite? Shite like this:

After leaving this event in the city we happened to spot this ultra shady character in a gray hoody on a bicycle emitting a very questionable vibe. No, I wasn’t even judging (not this time). So what gave him away you ask? Oh, mayyyyyybe because he was spotted jiggling LOCKS on Bowery. Mannnn, we KNOW you don’t work there! Even if you did, you didn’t JUST lock up shop, you didn’t! That coffee shop closed before sundown! Crook!

Also, ALSO! If you worked there or had any business trying to get in there @ 11:30 pm–you would most certainly own a KEY!

So my friend yells “oh shit! Who the fuck jiggles locks at 11:30?!”. At this point I’m still laughing hysterically at the whole scenario UNTIL said shady lock jiggler rolls up to us on SAID bicycle (an effing bicycle!) with a verbal contribution of, “something funny fellas?”. Uhhh sir, sir! SIR! Did you just NOT just see yourself checking locks of someone elses store on your (getaway) bicycle? Was that NOT your shadow on the floor while your person shook & turned the padlock of the store you (clearly) do NOT work at?! Do NOT piss me off Crook, don’t effin’ do it.

So with that bullshit I just start laughing even harder (I laughed PLENTY that night? Yes, yes I did). Then my friend said something along the lines of “No man we just left this event, had a couple drinks. It was a good time man you missed out.”

[* Still cracking up]

Then the crook proceeds to ask more info about the event! At that point I was just like could you please kindly keep it effin’ moving. No real “tough guy” tries to have conversations to find out about events in NYC. Lucky for him, I cut my beard a few weeks back hence me not actually saying a word this entire post. I hope he knows he spared himself from a dual-foot roundhouse kick, don’t ask. *Looks at Chuck, receives approval. Moves on…

Go fly a kite, crook.

Musin, out! Long live AH!

[Thanks to to our partner at ithinkyoureswell.com for the event info; good times Nerd.]