So,

Somehow these blasted blankets are selling like hot cakes (hmm, how many hot cakes can one really sell though…). Anyways, this is very wild to me. After seeing this infomercial a time or few, I realized how they manage to sell so many of these. It isn’t just a warm blanket with convenient sleeves, clearly it’s the last and final adornment needed to gain membership into the obvious Snuggie CULT. Please take another look at the infomercial after reading the points below:

1) WHY does the lady rhyme in the first few lines of this thing? I bet you didn’t think of this before, but clearly she is some form of soothsayer-eqsue cult leader trying to penetrate your mind with rythmical lines. We won’t go for it Snuggie; CULT!

2) Now, the lady on the phone. Who do you think she is talking to? Ah ha! You guessed it too, clearly she is speaking with the Chief of the Snuggie Cult providing a live update on the progress of the commercial/takeover. Here is a little known fact for you all: They cut away right before she begins tapping her fingers together in a mischievous fashion while sporting an evil grin. This while the light is only on her face, the rest of the room fading into shadows (*insert evil laugh here). This is all true.

3) If this was such a nice item for caring everyday folks trying to stay warm then WHY is mom wrapped up all toasty yet infant is stuck to endure the cold. You know what kind of people administer such torture to babies? CULT!

(Also, I think she just poisoned that puppy)

4) Who would really go out as a large group to a camp fire ALL wearing burgundy colored cult robes Snuggie’s? I know who, members of a CULT. They just used those same sticks holding the marshmallows to  slay the sacrificial goat, this is fact.

5) These guys are smart little cult followers. They wore these things to a large sporting event (Okay, maybe not that large of an event but give me a break here) ? Clearly they went out in numbers to recruit for…you guessed it, the CULT!

6) The Compact press and Open book light, all a lie. That is just fancy housing for some poisonous potion placed in “cups of tea” (as shown in the commercial).

I mean, who would really own one of these? Why not just put on a Sweater? I don’t get it, i don’t. However, Rumor has it someone that happens to read this here blog is actually a PROUD member of the Snuggie cult owner if this ridiculous armed blanket. I won’t call any names though…

Even worse, they have  major competitor, the mighty  SLANKET! The Snuggie vs. Slanket rivalry is really heating up, too bad I don’t care at all. Rumor also has it that someone that reads and writes for this blog (who owns a SNUGGIE) is thoroughly interested in doing away with said Snuggie, and switching to the Slanket clan! This is only the beginning, and I’m afraid to say I have no idea of where this will end.

*prays.

Be good now.